Our Experience in the Wilderness

An unexpected PCS to a remote duty station left one military family searching for answers, navigating gaps in EFMP support, and driving hours for their children’s care. Balancing therapies, homeschooling, and everyday life required persistence and flexibility. Along the way, they found providers who helped their children grow in ways they hadn’t imagined. What began with uncertainty became a season of meaningful connections, hard-earned progress, and unexpected gratitude.

An Unexpected Assignment

We knew the announcement was coming soon, and we were both excited and nervous. However, nothing could have prepared us for where they told us they were sending us next. It was remote and isolated, and not even familiar to us as a joint base. But it fit my husband’s career path, so we went. This out-of-the-way place we had to go find on a map was entirely unexpected.

The enormity of the move was the next thing to cross my mind. “How was this going to work? I thought they couldn’t send us somewhere remote when we had an EFMP child?”

The truth was, we would be within driving distance of necessary therapies. That driving distance was just two hours one way. Meaning, I would be on the hook for at least four hours on the road for any given therapy day, plus therapy time, sometimes multiple times a week. With a soon-to-be second EFMP child and a new diagnosis made just one month before the PCS, my first stop would be the EFMP office at the new duty station to figure this out.

Finding Support After the PCS

Upon arrival, I received the news that no one from our service was within two states to take control of our case, and this office was entirely without experience with our branch of service.

The EFMP representative did the best she could by providing us with a file folder full of contacts to start with, since the small MTF would also not be able to provide support.

My next two weeks were spent in the temporary hotel phoning specialists and on the phone with TRICARE. None of the listed providers in the file folder were current. Once we received housing, I was still spending several hours on the phone each day trying to both locate and schedule providers between unpacking and organizing for our next homeschool year.

I never did successfully establish a relationship with our service-specific EFMP coordinator, who was more than two states away and didn’t seem to understand why a spouse would be reaching out who wasn’t stationed at her enormous base. Our successes didn't come through the EFMP program.

Making Room for Therapy and Homeschooling

I eventually found providers for both children but had to make some adjustments as that first year went on, including planning entire days where we would be in the car commuting to our therapy appointments. In my mind, getting homeschool done while spending an entire day traveling for each therapy appointment seemed impossible. Luckily, we were able to schedule physical therapy with a provider within a half-hour’s drive who also took very early morning appointments.

We had up to three therapy appointments each week. The neurologist, a pulmonologist, and any repeat imaging were extra. We were often up before sunrise to make physical therapy and gone until three or four o’clock to make our out-of-town therapies. The time commitment was enormous, but our options were few. During our last year, equine therapy was added on the weekends.

The Unexpected Gift of the Right Providers

Where we eventually landed was a beautiful gift. Of all the providers in the country, we found one who had the expertise in exactly what was affecting my third child, with a recent certification, one of 25 in the country, to prove it.

She was a wonderful practitioner and, as the tour went on, became a good friend to us. My child went from not being able to run or jump rope to being able to do both those things and ride her bike! When that tour ended, we were actually sad to go.

My son’s physical therapist was a cheerful tyrant who encouraged verbally while demanding his utmost. His neurologist worked with professional and college athletes. His experience was a true Godsend. His pulmonologist worked with us through COVID. Equine therapy helped with so many skills that she found confounding and added joy to her experience as well.

I absolutely adored my kids’ providers. I can actually say we were anxious about moving away from them. But when we left, the kids were in a much better place physically and prepared to go on with their own adventures with much less required support.

What the Wilderness Taught Us

Perseverance, by truly learning the lesson of putting one foot in front of the other every single day, was the greatest lesson I took from our time at this duty station. I could never see how things would get done or realistically plan an outcome, but sometimes we aren’t gifted with that. I will always be grateful for our truly unexpected journey into the wilderness, where we met challenges with unexpected professionals who met us where we were and helped my kids reach new levels of strength through perseverance. They were a part of our journey for a season that will always stay with us, no matter where we wander.

Meet the Author

Rita Roberts is a Texas A&M University graduate with a B.S. in Biomedical Science and is currently pursuing an M.Ed. at Liberty University. A 30-year Navy spouse, longtime home educator, and mother of three homeschooled children, she previously served as Resources Manager on the Military Homeschoolers Association board. Known as “The Curriculum Boss” on the podcast Coffee, Chaos, and Curriculum, she advocates for military-connected homeschool families and is developing the Gryphon Academy Homeschool Resource Hub. Her interests extend to sustainable farming, heritage breeds, wildlife conservation, and the relationship between environmental stewardship and human well-being. She lives in Texas with her family and an assortment of poultry and rescued animals.