AAC in Action: Everyday Self-Advocacy

My son started using his AAC device more when we added things he actually wanted to say. He could pick a favorite show, ask Alexa to make animal noises, or tell our dog “no!” Those moments helped me see what presuming competence looks like at home. We can give our children ways to share what matters to them, then give them time to respond and take what they say seriously.

“I need a break.”

“Please stop.”

"I don't feel well."

These everyday statements carry something powerful: the ability to influence what happens to us. For a child who uses augmentative and alternative communication (AAC), having access to these messages and people who respond to them creates opportunities to practice self-advocacy.

That work begins with how we see the person communicating. Do we include

them in conversations? Do we give them time to respond? Do we take their disagreement as seriously as their agreement? Presuming competence means approaching a person with respect for their ability to learn, communicate, and participate while providing the support they need.

What Presuming Competence Looks Like

We cannot determine everything a child understands by how much they speak, how quickly they respond, or how accurately they select a symbol on a device. Communicating can involve language, movement, sensory processing, and access to the right tools.

Presuming competence does not mean assuming a child already understands everything. It means staying open to what they can learn and express, and giving them opportunities even when they haven't yet demonstrated a particular skill.

In daily life, this might mean explaining a change in plans directly to your child, inviting their opinion during a conversation, or offering age-respectful learning materials with appropriate supports. Needing help does not erase a person’s preferences or their right to participate.

AAC Creates Opportunities to Be Heard

AAC includes communication boards, gestures, signs, speech-generating devices, and other methods that support or supplement speech. A person may use several methods depending on the setting, their needs, and what they want to communicate. When a child receives an AAC device, adults often focus first on requesting: a snack, a favorite toy, or another turn. Those requests matter. Children also need opportunities to ask questions, express discomfort, share opinions, disagree, and correct misunderstandings.

Consider what becomes possible when a child can communicate:

• “I don’t like that.”

• “I need help.”

• “Something hurts.”

• “I want something different.”

• “I want to do it myself.”

Work with your child and their communication team to make personally meaningful language accessible while continuing to build a broad vocabulary. Their device should reflect their interests, relationships, questions, and personality.

Starting with What Matters to Your Child

As a parent of an AAC user, I’ve seen how much it matters to give children access to the things they actually want to say. My son didn’t really buy into using his device until we programmed his favorite shows so he could tell us what he wanted to watch. That gave him a meaningful reason to use it. Conversation happens authentically and organically for speaking individuals; why can't the same be true for non-speaking individuals?

We also programmed a button so he could talk to Alexa and ask for his favorite songs or animal noises. And one of our favorite additions? A button to tell our dog “no!” He needs a say in what the dog is doing, too!

These might seem like small things, but they give him opportunities to direct something in his day, share what he enjoys, and set a boundary. Those are all ways to practice self-advocacy.

For our family, that buy-in was an important starting point. His device became more useful to him when it included things he actually wanted to say. As we help our children explore AAC, we need to make room for their favorite things, their personalities, and the messages they want others to hear.

Self-Advocacy Begins in Everyday Moments

Self-advocacy can begin long before a child attends a meeting or explains their accommodations. It can happen when they choose where to sit, ask for a quieter space, or tell someone they are finished. During a lesson, a child might communicate “help” or “different.” At home, they may ask for a favorite movie and snack. During an appointment, they might indicate discomfort or ask what will happen next.

We can make room for these moments by offering meaningful choices and allowing time for an answer. Ask a question, pause, and give your child space to respond without immediately repeating the question or answering for them. These opportunities help children experience that their communication matters and can influence what happens next.

Our Response Matters

Teaching a child to communicate “no” comes with a responsibility to listen when they use it.

The National Joint Committee’s Communication Bill of Rights recognizes the importance of expressing preferences, refusing, making meaningful choices, and receiving a response, even when the requested outcome is not possible.

Sometimes we can honor a message immediately. If a child says “stop” during an optional activity, we can stop. If they ask for a break, we can help them take one.

Other situations require an explanation and support. A necessary medical procedure may still need to happen, but we can acknowledge the child’s concern, explain what is happening, and offer whatever choices are available. Their message deserves a response even when we cannot provide the outcome they want.

We also need to notice communication beyond the device. Turning away, gesturing, vocalizing, or pushing something aside may carry meaning. We can acknowledge what we observe and offer a way to clarify without assuming we already know exactly what the child means. A child should not have to repeat a clear message on their device before we take it seriously.

Make Communication Available Throughout the Day

An AAC device needs to be available where life happens: during lessons, meals, outings, appointments, and time with friends. Communication access should never depend on completing work or demonstrating “good behavior.” The Communication Bill of Rights includes ongoing access to individualized, working AAC and other assistive technology.

Practical preparation matters. Keep the device charged, positioned for access, and within reach. Plan for a usable backup when the device is unavailable. In our house, we have printed copies of our son's device laminated just in case.

Adults can also model useful language during ordinary activities. For example, say “I need help” while selecting the relevant words on a communication system. Offer an example without requiring the child to copy it or turning every interaction into a test. Support access and explain options while leaving the person in control of what they communicate.

Carrying Self-Advocacy Through Military Transitions

For military families, a PCS can introduce new teachers, therapists, caregivers, and routines. Each transition creates another opportunity to establish how a child communicates and how others can support their participation.

A brief communication profile can help new partners understand the child’s communication methods, access needs, interests, and preferred ways of receiving support. Include the child in creating or reviewing it whenever possible and appropriate.

Share what makes communication meaningful to your child, too. Their favorite shows, songs, jokes, and familiar messages can give a new communication partner a place to begin building a relationship.

New adults also need to know to address the child directly, allow time for a response, and keep communication supports available. Families can ask how their child will be included in discussions about education, care, and daily routines.

Make Room for Their Message

An AAC device provides a way to communicate. The people around the user help determine whether they welcome and respect that communication. Presuming competence asks us to offer opportunities, provide support, and stay curious about what a person has to say. Supporting self-advocacy asks us to follow through when the message is inconvenient, unexpected, or different from our own preference.

For my son, meaningful opportunities included choosing a favorite show, asking Alexa for animal noises, and telling the dog “no.” Those everyday messages belong in the conversation, too.

Each time we make room for a choice, acknowledge a refusal, or wait for an answer, we have an opportunity to show our children: “What you have to say matters.”

About the Author- Ashly Barta

Family Stories Program Manager

Ashly Barta is the proud wife of an Air Force service member and a homeschooling mom of three. Inspired by her family's journey, she is an educational consultant and special education advocate who helps military and civilian families navigate homeschooling and special education with practical, compassionate support.